11 Signs You're Addicted To (And Not In Love With) Your Partner
Is this "love" taking its toll on you?
When rock stars sing about not being able to live without someone, or being addicted to their lover, it sounds hella romantic. But that addiction to a person is an actual thing. And just like any other addiction, it isn’t healthy. But what are the signs of being addicted to a person?
The feeling of being so totally consumed by emotion is often mistaken as love, but is, in fact, obsession. This emotion is called “limerence”. A certain kind of limerence can be part of love, especially in the beginning of the relationship when you can’t stop thinking about someone, but there’s also the kind that makes one unable to function properly. Read on to find out which is which.
It’s normal to often think about your loved one throughout the day, but if you’re so consumed with thoughts of them that you find it difficult to focus on things other than your partner, then that’s problematic.
Being oversensitive to your partner’s behavioural cues is one of the most common signs of being addicted to a person. What did that sigh mean? He took an hour to reply to your last message — does that mean he doesn’t like you anymore? Is that cryptic tweet about something you did? Take a chill pill. Let the dude live.
There’s nothing wrong with cherishing your memories with your partner. but if you’re replaying them over and over again in your head so that little else takes up your headspace and your productivity is affected, that’s no good.
You know that scene in 500 Days of Summer when Tom gets disappointed after building up his expectations for his evening with Summer? It’s exactly like that.
It’s not your partner’s fault your mental rehearsals have driven up your expectations to unrealistic and unreachable points, but you still lash out.
When practically every little thing your partner does makes you panicked that they’ll leave you, that’s not healthy. Convinced that him going on a boys’ night out is a sign that he’s on the prowl? Are you stalking his Instagram to see which photos he likes?
There’s nothing wrong with trying things your partner likes to understand him better, or wearing your hair a certain way just because you know he thinks it’s pretty. However, if you’re always altering the way you look and act just to make yourself more appealing to your partner, are you even truly being yourself?
You’re always measuring your partner’s love for you based on how much time and money he spends on you, or whether or not he says or does the right things. And when he falls short, that’s your cue to have a meltdown.
His love is literally your drug and nothing else seems to make you happy.
You have a big presentation the next day, but you still insist on meeting up. Or maybe you’ve made plans with a girlfriend, but decide to call it off because you’d rather spend the time with your partner.
When was the last time you spent time with your friends? Are your bills piling up because you keep putting off paying them so you can spend your money on your partner? Are you this close to getting fired because you can’t get your act together?
There’s life outside your relationship. And if you don’t understand that ASAP and recognise the signs of being addicted to a person, you’re in for a world of hurt. You’ve been warned.