Police from a Philippine town recently came under fire for circulating a highly victim-blamey "anti-rape" advisory that included tips like "don't wear skimpy clothing" and "don't drink alcohol". Are you rolling your eyes yet?
And very recently, Henry Cavill said a few things about being scared to flirt with women because he didn't want to be labelled a predator. People, understandably, weren't pleased.
The police and Henry Cavill have since sorta-apologised for their gaffes, but just to be sure, we've spelt out some rape prevention tips for men out there who still think this whole not-being-called-a-rapist business is too complicated. Cause it's really not.
10 Rape Prevention Tips for Men
1. Just because a woman is cool with spending one-on-one time with you doesn't mean that she wants to have sex with you.
Maybe you've been messaging this girl for a while, and maybe things have gotten a little hot and steamy. Just because you decide to meet up IRL doesn't mean that you're entitled to sleeping with her.
And just because she agrees to go back to your place doesn't mean that she wants to sleep with you. This might seem like earth-shaking news to you, but sometimes all we really want to do is to have a decent conversation/look at your record collection/say hi to your dog/watch a movie/use your toilet.
2. Just because a woman wears revealing clothing doesn't mean she's "asking for it".
Women wear revealing clothing for a multitude of reasons, none of which are any of your business.
A short skirt isn't a go-signal for you to touch her. Don't be a presumptuous prick.
3. Just because a woman drinks with men doesn't mean she's DTF.
Newsflash: women enjoy drinking just as much as the next guy. A woman who goes out drinking with men is just trying to have a good time, not necessarily trying to get in their pants.
4. In fact, stop drinking alcohol altogether if it makes you such a creepy horndog.
If you can't keep your hands to yourself whenever you're under the influence of alcohol, you have a problem. Seriously.
5. Always ask for consent. And remember: No means no. Coercion isn't consent.
No, asking for consent doesn't "kill the mood". Consent is sexy.
There is no such thing as a "soft no" and a "hard no". A no is a no.
Once a girl says it, back off and call it a day. Pestering her until she says yes isn't just uncool, it's downright predatory. Respect her boundaries.
6. If the person you're hitting on is clearly uncomfortable, stop.
Look for non-verbal cues. If you're flirting with someone and they're clearly not into it, that's your cue to stop whatever it is you're doing. Don't be a creep.
7. If you see a buddy of yours (or any guy, really) creeping on a woman who's clearly uncomfortable, step in.
Forget the so-called bro code. Be a decent human being, do the right thing and intervene.
8. Just because someone slept with you before doesn't mean they'll be okay doing it again.
People change their minds all the time. Don't assume that they'd be okay with doing the dirty with you just because of your history.
9. Treat everyone — women, men, and non-binary folk — with respect.
10. Don't rape.