7 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It's Too Late

7 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It's Too Late7 Questions to Ask Your Parents Before It's Too Late

We kids often take our parents for granted and fail to remember them as human too. They made their mark in this world, long before you came along. 

It's hard to imagine a time where our parents will no longer be around.

But you can bet they remember a time where we weren't.

Every parent out there carries an aura of mystery. Well, it's true, they've been alive for much longer than us(don't remind them!). But also, they have a wealth of experience hiding beneath that stern face, only parents can pull.

Don't we owe it to them somewhat to have a sense of their lives, before they ever became parents?


7 Questions to ask your parents, because it matters

1. What were your dreams  growing up?

Not everyone ends up at their dream destination. Growing up we all have our ambitions and dreams. It is our dreams that instil in us our drive and motivation in life. How much do we actually know about what our parents did or did not give up, to take care of us? 

They were once children, teens and young adults just like us. There is so much to learn about what got them to their lives now and all the paths untaken in between.

2. Who was your first heartbreak?

How does the saying go again? You'll always remember your first love.

There is no denying the impact a first romantic relationship has on our lives. It moves, shapes and sometimes breaks us–hard. We are probably at our most fragile state and also at our strongest when we move on and learn how to discover.

If you haven't once sat down and wondered how your mom and dad nursed their broken hearts, you're probably missing out on some pearls of wisdom.

Who else could better equip you with the strength needed for such pain. They are recovery in the flesh.


3. What would you have told your younger selves?

This is about leaning on their decisions in life and possibly regrets. Parents are usually so focused on protecting their children, they hardly let a tear shed in front of you or show their vulnerabilities. By asking, you're also telling them it's okay, that you respect their past and that you love them no matter what. It's your turn to make them feel safe.

You never know, you might surprise yourself going down your your parent's beaten road. And with them opening up, you could gain perspective on how to avoid that bad call.

4. Who were your role models?

We spoke about heart breaks shaping our lives and experiences. But role models, mentors and idols play an important part to. Take a good look at your parents, someone out there helped them be stronger, more ethical or driven. 

This can be anything from their own parents, to friends to icons. 

We all admire our parents for a great number of things. Perhaps it would be interesting to know who they admired and looked up to, in their time.

5. What is your most precious memory?

You can blow the whistle here if they say " having you". We all know there's a standardised answer to this question.

Life, marriage, kids, can get in the way of a lot. Your parents may appreciate you reminding them of something  that means the world to them. You in turn, get to go deeper and learn about what your parents might consider as a defining moment.

We all have those, even our parents.

6. What experience in this life has affected you the most, in good ways and bad?

Ever looked at your parents and wondered why they behave the way they do? Where did their temper, idiosyncrasies, obsessions, flaws and strengths come from. Needless to say our life experiences and circumstances  play a big role in the way we tick.

All it takes is a question for you to finally understand why something sets them off so bad or quickly. For all you know, they may not even realise an experience has affected their behaviour to date. Giving them pause to reflect on these moments can put things into perspective.

Not to mention, answer that question you've had on your mind all these years. Like why they have weird taste, or something.


7. Is there anything you miss about your "era"?

It's quite possible for your parents to still surprise you. Old does not necessarily mean boring–come on, we're all secretly guilty of that thought at some point in our lives.

Times were so different back then. Your parents may be nostalgic about things that quite possibly don't even exist nowadays. 

The best part about this exercise is the feeling of utter connection to our parents, but also as something more: just people.

We kids often take our parents for granted and fail to remember them as human too. They made their mark in this world, long before you came along. 

Our parents deserve to have their memories honoured, just by talking about them. And we as their children, should give them the opportunity to share on their prime years.

Stories have always been a means to delight or educate. What more, if they're actually true.


Got a parenting concern? Read articles or ask away and get instant answers on our app. Download theAsianparent Community on iOS or Android now!

Written by

Sabrena Jefri