Nico Bolzico is back at it with the solid (yet actually pretty common-sensical) advice.This time, he's advising guys to chill out when they see their significant others talking to other guys. Scroll on to read more about what Nico had to say, as well as to read up on possessive men psychology.
In his post, Nico showed a photo of his wife Solenn Heussaff pointing at her ring finger, presumably in response to an adoring fan proposing marriage to her. "The picture shows her reaction every time someone proposes," he wrote in the caption.
He took this as the perfect opportunity to talk about how men should react when their partners talk to other men. "This is always a tricky situation, and the way we react can be very critical for the future of our relationship and physical health," he explained.
Nico said that before he met Solenn, he used to get very jealous. "I always assumed that any guy talking to my girlfriend was trying to hit on her, I didn’t believe in friendship between opposite sexes," he wrote. "But I was wrong, 1 million times wrong! Thinking that way only leads to unfounded fights, drama and degradation of the relationship."
"The truth is, if our relationship is based [on] trust and respect, we shouldn’t worry about it, and we should be fine with our ladies talking to other guys," he wrote. "I understand that we see our wives as the most beautiful and precious person in our life... and [it] might be difficult seeing them talking to another guy; but it is ok, they should be able [to] have male friends, as we should be able to have female friends.
He ended his caption with this note: "If you really love her, then: trust her, give her the freedom she deserves and let her be; this way you will see your relationship getting stronger every day!"
It's not exactly groundbreaking advice, but the fact that Nico has to spell this out just goes to show that dudes really need to step up their game. Fellas, if you're reading this, this is all you need to do: treat women with respect. It ain't that complicated.
Also, this is a reminder for girls that it's not cute or romantic when a guy is overprotective and possessive. Sure, it might initially make you feel wanted, but that kind of controlling behavior will take its toll in the long run — trust us on this.
And if you really can't trust your partner because you have a strong suspicion that he/she's bound to cheat? That's a telltale sign that you need to focus on your relationship's foundations, not keeping your partner on a short leash.
Possessive Men Psychology: The Red Flags Of A Possessive Partner
Not long ago, Stranger Things star Millie Bobbie Brown said that the Penn Badgley's character in Netflix's You isn't creepy, but just another dude in love. (To those of you who haven't watched You, Badgley's character is literally the worst kind of stalker, so Millie's take was a little problematic, to say the least.)
But Millie isn't the only young impressionable girl to think that possessive men are attractive, and we're sure there are grown-up women out there who share the same sentiments. We're often attracted to these men because they just seem to want us more than guys who aren't so needy and insecure.
Here are some red flags of toxic insecurity, according to psychologist Dr. Joseph Nowinski, and expert in possessive men psychology:
1. Constantly needing your reassurance and approval.
If your partner is always making self-deprecating remarks, he could be baiting you into reassuring him and inflating his ego.
In a relationship, the insecure man wants to be with their partner at all times. But space in a relationship is healthy — read Nico's take on this here: Here's Why Nico Bolzico And Solenn Heussaff Spent Christmas And New Year's Apart.
If a dude demands that you give him a play-by-play of your entire day, that's a sure sign that there's something amiss. And if he takes issue with you spending time with your friends and family? Girl, ditch him. That guy's a bad idea.
4. Overcritical of others.
Possessive men psychology revolves around insecurity, and insecure men tend to project their self-loathing onto others. They're not only distrustful of their partners, but of others as well.
And when your partner thinks that everyone is out to sabotage your relationship, then it's only a matter of time before it starts taking its toll on your wellbeing.
At the end of the day, you shouldn't be responsible for fixing his insecurities. Don't go out of your way to change your lifestyle to accommodate his unreasonable demands. If he can't deal with that, then that's on him.
(Featured image: @solenn on Instagram)