The importance of communication in relationships is undeniable. By sharing your feelings and speaking your heart out, you ensure a better connection with your partner. Plus, an honest discussion also has the power to resolve any misunderstandings and allows you to have a meaningful dialogue.
However, communication is not just verbal. It is also how you emote that determines how effectively you communicate. When you verbalise your feelings, you send out emotional information through the tone of your voice, eye-contact and gestures, as well as your attitude.
Therefore, being more careful about not just your words, but also your behaviour is key is a fruitful communication. But if you’re often non-accommodating and browbeat your partner into submission, chances are you are not an effective communicator. So how should you communicate better?
Importance Of Communication In Relationships: 7 Effective Ways To Verbalise Your Emotions
While the importance of communication in relationships is its foundation, how you do it is equally important as well.
Here are a few ways to communicate positively with your partner.
1. Avoid Discussions Over Text Messages
Or, Facebook, or Instagram, or email, or morse code, nothing. Text messages are a bane for honest and open communication. Ideally, you should shun them the minute you get involved in a serious discussion. For instance, if you’ve been back and forth with your partner for more than six messages, its time to pick up the phone and talk.
Remember that text messages are not real-time conversations. Even though you may understand the importance of communication in relationships and are used to texting, its still better to avoid.
That’s because text messages can easily be misinterpreted. When you talk things out in person, you can see the person’s facial expressions and tone, and its easier to reach a resolve.
2. Be Honest With Your Feelings
Sometimes couples bottle up their feelings in order to maintain peace and keep their partners happy. But that’s where they lose out on open communication. If you really want to be happy, you have to be able to communicate honestly. For instance, if you don’t feel comfortable with your boyfriend’s hot new colleague and she spends too much time with him, share what you feel.
Even at the cost of being called jealous or possessive, at least you know you’re not dishonest with your feelings.
When you bottle your feelings, it can lead to pent-up anger and frustration, leading to a passive aggressive behaviour that benefits nobody.
3. All Not Fair In Love And War
When you fight it out with your special someone, chances are there would be instances, where you’d try to one up each other. This sometimes leads to hitting below the belt, insulting, calling names, and trying to talk about things that trigger an emotional outburst.
So avoid doing that when you are fighting. Hear each other out and if need be, don’t talk to each other for a while. Come back to your discussion with open minds when you are ready to talk things over.
There is no point of two pressure cookers fighting with each other. Because one of you will no doubt get hurt in the process.
4. Using “We” Or “I Feel” Is Better Than “You” And “I”
“You never ask me about my day!” “You don’t care about me!” “You’re never take me out!” While these statements might be true, they’re lingering in the accusatory territory. It’s never a good idea to start hot conversations with “me” and “I” purely because they’re not constructive.
They don’t reflect you as a unit, and instead points fingers, which is really not how you want to resolve issues. You are not two individuals trying to one up the other, so accusatory tones should ideally be out of the window.
Instead, talk things out and share how you’d love your partner to do the things you like. Come up with a plan where both of you can share time to enjoy the activities you both like. In fact, take turns if need be.
5. Resolve Conflicts In A Loving Tone
This brings us to the next task that is the perfect example of importance of communication in relationships: a loving tone. Yes, we all have may a few issues with our partners. These, ranging from their behaviour, to time spent together. But the best way to address them is not be adopting an accusatory tone, but a loving one.
You should even include physical contact when talking about conflicting issues. For instance, holding hands to looking into each other’s eyes while talking. These might seem confrontational, but they are honest interactions and show that you want a loving and healthy relationship.
6. Learn To Pick Your Battles
You might not like everything about your partner, especially once you start to live with them. So try to adjust with what you have and learn to pick your battles. Where there are more pressing issues such as finances, it’s best to be firm and immediate.
But when you have issues like he spends too much time playing games. Or that he doesn’t compliment you enough, a simple nudge or reminder is enough. A full-on battle style fight is not required.
Life is too short and you don’t want to spend it nagging your partner.
7. Just Because There Is Conflict, Doesn’t Mean You Should Breakup
Not every fight has to result in a breakup (you’re not Chandler Bing, are you?). Just because you had a fight, you shouldn’t consider this. Unless there are no issues of mental abuse or cheating or extreme incompatibility, there’s no argument that cannot be resolved.
Just remember that every relationship has its ups and downs. It’s never going to be easy and all fairyland good. If you’re willing to weather it out, you’ll end up a relationship you’ll cherish forever.
This is also where the importance of communication in relationships comes into play. If there is something that bothers you, don’t bottle it up. Share and resolve the problem.
Always remember that the beauty of love isn’t just in holding hands or showering each other with flowers every Valentine’s Day. It’s about staying together and accepting imperfections.