Sex isn’t meant to feel like a puzzle you need to solve. If you think you’re bad in bed, the good news is that learning how to get better in bed probably isn’t about your technique. For women, it’s often a matter of simply not overthinking it. Sex is supposed to be fun!
I know, I know. That’s easier said than done.
We’ve made it a little easier by breaking it down into some tips on how to get better in bed. Here goes!
1. Stop worrying about how you look.
Got body issues? Don’t let them get in the way of your sex life.
We’ve all got stretch marks, cellulite, and perhaps more jiggly bits than we’d like, so don’t punish yourself for looking like a human being. Being sexy isn’t about looking perfect. It’s about being confident in your own skin.
Buy yourself some sexy lingerie. Treat yourself to a full body scrub. Learn to love your body and see how much your sex life improves.
2. Don’t be afraid to take the lead.
Since the beginning of time, women have been conditioned to stay quiet and treat sex like a duty, not an act they can actually enjoy. So it’s no wonder why so many women still have trouble vocalising their wants.
Expecting your partner to magically know what you want in bed isn’t going to work out for you. No matter how attentive and loving your partner might be, if you’re not communicating your desires, he’s probably not going to fulfil them.
Ask and you shall receive. With great pleasure.
3. Try new things.
Sex doesn’t have to be limited to your regular old missionary position under the covers (though we’re not hating on that). There’s so many things you can do to mix things up, from new sex positions to simply taking it out of the bedroom (e.g. the kitchen counter, the stairs, the shower, etc.).
4. Read smutty stories.
Perhaps you’re limiting yourself just because you don’t know what other possibilities are out there. Try reading some erotic stories for *ahem* research that’ll definitely get you in the mood.
5. Practise safe sex.
One major reason why you might not be enjoying sex as much as you should be is that you’re anxious about the consequences. Practise safe sex and refuse to have sex with men who insist otherwise — they’re not worth your time and the STI risk.
6. Don’t just lie there.
One major turn-off for guys is having a girl just lie there like a dead fish while he does all the work. Move your body along with him. Run your fingers through his hair. Arch your back. Touch him. Touch yourself. Maintain eye contact. Kiss him. Get really into it and you’ll have a much better time, trust me.
At the end of the day, you have to remember that sex isn’t supposed to be so intimidating. Set realistic expectations for yourself — not all your sexual encounters will be awesome, but just because you had one bad night doesn’t mean you’re doomed to a lifetime of bad sex. Sex is the ultimate form of adult play, so relax and just let yourself enjoy it.