Most People Want To Get Back Together With An Ex, Says Science
...But we really shouldn't.
Rumour has it that Kristen Stewart still has feelings for her ex and Twilight costar Robert Pattinson. "Kristen still thinks about Robert all the time and kind of misses him too, in a weird way," a source told Hollywood Life. While we don't know if that's 100% true, if it is, Kristen isn't alone. According to some getting back together with an ex statistics, most people want to rekindle old love affairs.
A recent study by dating website Elite Singles found that 60% of people are open to the idea of getting back together with an ex. And around one in two people have been broken up with only to have their ex-partner backpedal and change their minds.
“Often, there’s huge ambivalence about endings, so mixed messages are sent, intentionally or not,” clinical sexologist Dr. Eve tells StyleCaster. “It’s a way of working it out and making sure ending it is the right decision.”
Before social media, once you break up with a partner, they're pretty much out of your life unless you hang around the same circles. But now with Instagram, Facebook, etc., it's easier than ever to keep tabs on a former flame, making closure even more difficult.
But is getting back together with an ex a good idea?
According to a new study, on-again, off-again relationships could be bad for your health.
“A pattern of breaking up and getting back together with the same partner — what we refer to as ‘relationship cycling’ — was associated with increased symptoms of depression and anxiety,” Kale Monk, one of the study's coauthors, told TIME.
Everyone knows that breakups suck, but the emotional distress from getting your heart broken is normal and usually temporary, Monk said. But a pattern of breaking up and getting back together with someone plunges you into a cycle of "stressful transitions", which could have disastrous effects on your health.
After surveying 545 people in romantic relationships, researchers learned that the more on-off cycles one experiences, the more people experience depression and anxiety.
What should you do if you want to get back together with an ex?
That's not to say that getting back together with an ex is a bad idea all of the time. Sometimes, a breakup is exactly what a couple needs to understand how much they mean to each other. But Monk says that many times, people return to a toxic relationship because of habit, convenience, or obligation. And none of those are good reasons to be in a relationship.
So if you're thinking about getting back together with an ex, really think about it before acting on your desires.
"I recommend partners think about the reasons they broke up when considering rekindling a relationship," Monk says. "Will things really be different this time? Then, it can be helpful to have an explicit conversation about issues that led to the breakups, especially if particular issues are likely to reoccur. This can help partners get on the same page about what needs to be improved or repaired."