9 First Time Sex Tips That Will Totally Change Your Love Life
Although you have nothing to compare it with and your expectations might not be real, getting some first time sex tips can always come in handy
If you’re having sex for the first time, chances are you feel the ‘heat.’ And by ‘heat’ we don’t mean sexual excitement, although that’s obviously the case. We’re talking about the pressure of doing it ‘just right.’ No matter how long you chose to wait, if at all; the first time is always daunting, exciting, and fun. And although you have nothing to compare it with and your expectations might not be real, getting some first time sex tips can always be handy.
Because here’s the thing: first time ‘sex’ can be subjective. Think about all the emotions and the nerves that are involved. So yes, there’s going to be a bit of awkwardness and fumbling. But you’ll be just fine as long as it is consensual and you’re using protection.
However, just to make things a lot easier for you, here are a few first time sex tips that’ll help you sail through the act.
9 Real First Time Sex Tips That Actually Work
1. Never fake an orgasm
Pop culture has ingrained in our minds that we need to moan and groan and get ours each time we get into the act. But that’s not really the case. If you don’t get your orgasm, its not the end of the world.
If you fake it or tell your partner that you had one, you’re setting yourself up for a false and shallow relationship. One where you cannot share your true feelings. So one of the best first time sex tips would be to not fake an orgasm.
2. Sex should not hurt
“When your hymen breaks it can cause pain!” Ignore those who tell you this, because chances are they had a bad experience.
First time sex can be awkward, yes, but it shouldn’t be painful. Many girls often say that when their partner enters them, they feel as though ‘he just hit a dead end.’
This is not what first time sex should feel like, at all. If you try it again and a lube doesn’t work either, you should consult with a specialist to get the root of it.
3. No two first-timers can have the same experience
One of the greatest first time sex tips that you’ll ever get is to avoid comparisons. No two first timers will have the same experience.
And if you waited it out to do it with your long-term partner, and broke up later, you might cringe, but don’t compare. You have to give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Avoid escalating your expectations so you don’t feel disappointed.
4. You don’t have to tell anybody that you are a virgin, but you can
Your partner deserves your honesty, and a low down on your sexual history. But, its not something you absolutely have to do. Who you’ve slept with or how many people you’ve done it with, is totally your business. Nobody is entitled enough to know your ‘number.’
But if you think you should share the details so as to feel more comfortable and into the act, then go ahead. If you tell somebody you’re a virgin and they freak out, they’re probably not who you want to be with. So this revelation only works in your favour.
5. Being safe is better than being scared
Since this is your first time, its best to practice safe sex. Nothing can be scarier or anxiety-driving than not knowing whether or not your partner has any sexually transmitted diseases (STDs). When you use safety, you are in control of the situation, whether it is from STDs or from unwanted pregnancy. If you are on pills, you are use condoms. Or if you’ve never tried pills, you can try a morning after pill. Either way, its better to be safe.
6. Enthusiastic consent is key
Whether you decided to wait it out, or do it as soon as you turned 18, consent is the key to having a great and safe time. Both of you should enthusiastically consent to getting into the act together.
Don’t just consent to it because well, you feel pressure. Do it only because you feel enthusiastic about it. And just because you started something, doesn’t mean you have to go through with it till the end. Same goes for your partner. So discuss enthusiasm and consent before you start.
7. Foreplay, foreplay, and more foreplay!
Foreplay is a crucial part of the entire act. The more you are aroused, the better sex you’ll have. Try the good old-fashion kiss, a little nibble on the neck, oral sex, and caressing each other.
Don’t just think of foreplay as something you do before the act, but something that is very much a part of it. You can share this with your partner and even indulge in some clitoris stimulation.
8. Think about your partner’s needs as well
Yes, you are enthusiastic. Yes, it feels good. But is it exactly what your partner wants? For some, it might matter that the first time should be ‘good.’ However, what really matters is how you and your partner feel.
This is where communication comes in handy. Give your partner the chance and time to appreciate whats happening and you do the same.
9. Make friends with lube and not expectations!
One of the biggest mistakes first timers commit is pin too many expectations on themselves. Don’t expect his penis or your vagina to magically just make things right. If something is not happening, use products that can make this process easier. Lube, for instance, is your friend here.
Make the most of this product and make sex more pleasurable. Using a silicon or water-based lube with condom also means there is less friction and you can enjoy sex even more than you expected.