Are You A Manipulative Girlfriend?
It's time to grow up and quit playing games with his heart.
“Am I manipulative?” That’s a question you might ask yourself after realising that there’s something off in your relationship. You might’ve felt powerful knowing that you could control your partner so easily, but as time wears on, you’ve likely discovered how toxic this dynamic can be. Here are the different manipulative behaviours you should watch out for, and some tips on how to stop being manipulative.
1. You lie or withhold information from your partner.
To get what you want, do you deceive your partner by holding back information or outright lying? That’s the hallmarks of a true blue manipulator, and if you want a healthier relationship, you should stop this shady AF behaviour right away.
2. You guilt-trip your partner.
Let’s say your partner wants to go out and spend some time with his friends. If your go-to move is to make him feel bad about it by talking about how sad you’ll be without him, you’re an emotional manipulator.
3. You get passive aggressive.
Maybe you don’t have fights with your partner, and you think that’s a sign that your relationship is on the right track. But fighting is a form of communication, and if you avoid direct confrontation with passive-aggressive behaviour like giving your partner the silent treatment, that’s much worse for your relationship than an actual argument.
4. You blame your partner for your mistakes.
Emotional manipulators are great at blaming other people for their shortcomings. When was the last time you owned up to a mistake? Is your partner always the one apologising? If so, check yourself before you wreck yourself.
5. You withhold affection to punish him.
Withholding physical affection to express your anger isn’t productive — in fact, it can complicate things even further! If your relationship’s on the rocks, talk about it instead of icing him out.
6. You twist his words when you’re arguing.
Manipulators don’t care about resolving conflict when they’re arguing with their partners. All they want to do is win. So even though they know deep down that they’re wrong, they twist their partner’s words so that they always come out on top. If this sounds like you, you need to stop doing this.
7. You expect his world to revolve around you.
When you’re in love, wanting to spend as much time with each other as possible is normal. But if you get sulky when he wants to spend time with his family and friends, that’s a huge no-no. Isolating your partner from his support system creates a toxic power dynamic that isn’t good for either of you in the long run.
How to stop being manipulative
If you want to learn how to stop being manipulative, that’s the first step to changing. Many manipulators know full well what they’re doing isn’t healthy, but keep on doing it because it’s a way to get what they want all the time.
But to have a happy, fulfilling relationship, you need to treat your partner with love and respect. This means you need to stop being a manipulative girlfriend. Here’s what you might need to work on to do just that.
1. Work on your self-esteem.
Most manipulators turn to these unhealthy behaviours because they’re insecure. They think that the only way to get people to love them is to twist the situation so that they come out on top. You need to learn how to love yourself, and to have faith in your partner.
2. Remember that you and your partner are on the same team.
One crucial part of learning how to stop being manipulative is getting rid of that need to always be right. There isn’t a you vs. him — you should be working together, not competing against each other.
3. Learn humility.
Now this is easier said than done. If you’ve lived your whole life with your nose turned up at everyone, accepting that you’re not always right can be difficult. But if you keep an open mind and learn to listen to everyone, your behaviour will change without you even realising it.
4. Respect your partner.
Treat your partner like how you’d want to be treated. This might mean giving him space when he wants his “me time”, or overcoming the urge to snoop through his phone while he’s not in the room.
And learning how to stop being manipulative should also extend to your relationships with your friends, family, and co-workers. You’ll be surprised to see how your relationships flourish after you finally start treating people with the respect they deserve.